Judgement: Let’s All Detach From It


I am the last person to criticize anyone for being preoccupied with their looks. At 50, full disclosure, I enjoy exploring options to turn back time. Who doesn’t love skin procedures and all the quality lotions and potions that claim you will look young forever (so long as they’re not full of junk)?

I believe it’s everyone’s choice to do whatever they want with their own face and body. And while fillers may not be my thing, I reserve the right to change my mind, as does everyone else.

Don’t you just want to live the way you want to live without being judged? Look and act how we want without someone whispering “oooooh that girl needs to tone down the botox”. We all fall victim to judgement, especially women. Especially as we get older. Oh she looks so old. Oh she looks so pumped up on fillers. Oh boy, look how much weight she gained. We all do it – I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t. But wouldn’t it be nice to live in a world where we do not judge and are not judged?

What about how we act? Sometimes I want to be a little crazy and “act” like a 30-year-old. Around this time last year in December and January I celebrated turning 50 – fortunate to have had so much fun before the lockdowns began. I had the time of my life with my husband and friends for my birthday, and we didn’t “act our age”. I am not a fan of that term. Although, I have said it to my kids – why the heck do I say such stupid s**t sometimes? Sometimes we can’t control it. The judgement. The perceptions.

In the last 4 years I have been judged likely more than I ever have since I went back to school and embarked on a new career at 46. I know who supports me and I know who criticizes me. I ignore comments that are rude and mean from strangers on social media. I ignore comments that I am “just an influencer” even though I went back to college to do what I do; and before an influencer, I am a holistic health practitioner. The influencer side is my fun and creative side, but my education and my primary purpose stands strong on its own.

I find myself having to do a lot of energy cleansing and protection for my own self. Everyone has an opinion on what you’re doing if it’s not the norm. If your opinion isn’t asked for, it’s criticism.

“If you’re not in the arena also getting your ass kicked, I’m not interested in your feedback.” – Brene Brown

All we really want as humans is to have our own experience, be validated, be loved. Opinions from others are only worthwhile if they’re asked for. If your actions or words towards someone doesn’t exemplify this, re-think. The world would be a better place.

So herein I bring up personal improvement. I feel true personal improvement and growth comes from within vs external forces. How many lose weight and keep it off because of the judgement of others? Many years ago, I used to be a smoker. When I tried to quit smoking because of the perception of smokers, I failed. It wasn’t until that desire to quit came from within me that I actually quit. I wanted it deep down inside and I wanted to change my lifestyle. So, really, a lot of what we do might be influenced by the judgement of others, but true improvement and personal evolution comes from within us.

So how about this? The next time we criticize someone on how they look or how they act, or how they run their business, stop. Think why am I judging them in the first place?.
Why is it so important for me to criticize them and get MY opinion heard?
Am I actually just feeling my own shortcomings…what I wish for myself?
Do I want to run a my own business?
Do I want to look younger?
Do I wish I had more zest for life?

Food for thought.

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